Sometimes.

                                            

                      


                                                                    Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish I was born earlier ,perhaps the 80s . I feel misplaced in this generation . Maybe if that were so; I'd have a different point of view on life because I assume life would be different. Sometimes I wish I could die to see where I'd go. Does Heaven or Hell really exist? Would God excuse my sins because he understands that through it all , I never meant malice with my actions? I'm just a human. Sometimes I wonder what if I never got into a relationship,giving love another shot after being in toxic situation/(ships) with those women for which as a man I realize I brung those hardships on myself . Curiosity killed the cat, I never heeded warnings and refuse to blame my foolishness on being young. As a long-time pessimist I always expect bad but hope for good...even in what appears to be a bad or "toxic "individual .Sometimes I wonder what if I graduated high school the first time and never moved to Philly from Maryland. Would the seemingly lack of resources rob me of my ambition because I see no hope in one day flying away to live my dreams. Would I become a statistic in the system like alot of my friends and classmates, living life boxed in a corner eventually standing on the corner somewhere in my small Riverside neighborhood probably without a proper place to lay my head while my train of thought revolves around a meal that I'll probably get from Mitchell's ,the corner store around the way because I'm starving. Nah maybe I still wouldn't be into crime but should be a crime for, in a way ; purposely being stagnant because I just can't see past Oak Street. Sometimes I wonder what if I didn't leave Georgia in October and come back home to Philly. Would I be happier if I allowed myself to accept the differences in lifestyles...nah I woulda still brought my ass back home regardless . Sometimes I ponder my own intelligence and wonder am I really as smart as people say I am . Maybe I read books because I actually feel dumb and sincerely feel the only way I'll get ahead in life is to bulk up my brain with classic literature such as 48 Laws, Mastery, books on how to make "Fuck You Money". Well atleast I actually believe that knowledge is power.Sometimes I wonder would life truly be more dramatic if me and my girl actually had the kids,disregarding our self-imposed poverty (I say self-imposed to emphasize accountability), me genuinely not being ready and her not caring to be pregnant by me that early in our relationship . It's the most awkward shit in the world to have someone ask you, "When are you having kids?". I sometimes cringe and at times feel undeserving of life myself. Sometimes I feel foolish for forgiving her for infidelity in the past. I feel like a punk, it still stings like it just happened. I sometimes find myself having flashbacks and immediately I'm angry outta nowhere...like its a weird feeling i PHYSICALLY feel outta nowhere when my mind wanders. I'm still in love with her. Our relationship is rocky..not even because of this but because of the aftermath in the whole Georgia fiasco...never would think me trying to make a better life for us would turn everything upside down for the worst... I'm still flabbergasted by it. Sometimes I wonder do I really believe in myself with these claims of being the best in my craft or does it just sound good when I scream it on wax ? Truthfully the only reason I'm probably questioning this is pure frustration , I want people to somehow realize Im the best too...alot of us artists are like that. I don't think we can help it. Who knows maybe this is just growing pains of the aspiring artist, feeling like you're not moving fast enough in a way feeling entitled because you're talented.Perhaps the remedy is to eat more humble pie.

@hardheaded_leo
(Twitter, & IG)
www.soundcloud.com/dnrinmydna

Too Poor For Pro Tools

"Too Poor For Pro Tools Vlog": is a video/audio blog giving commentary on tracks recorded by me. Traditionally just about everybody uses to Pro Tools or Logic to record,...I'm doin it for the low lives with cracked DAWs, the illegitimate bedroom producer that still has FL Studio 11 and so on and so on.. The series ends when I can finally afford Pro Tools lol Twitter , Instagram : @hardheaded_leo Soundcloud: www.soundcloud.com/dnrinmydna Facebook: www.facebook.com/hardheadedleo

Procrastination Doesn't Kill...Let Me Explain

As much as I would love to be the overbearingly (don't know if that's a word) consistent rapper dropping 20 songs a day cuz that's how you "get on"...that's just not me. I like creating bodies of work, I like to let things inspire me and create the piece as I go. Until I feel it's complete. I'm more than aware of the phrase " hard work beats talent , if talent don't work hard . I agree , I feel like that creates a balance within the 2 worlds . A lot of talented folks such as myself whether conscious or subconsciously choose not to work as hard because we have the "if you build it, they will come " mentality . Whether just being full of ourselves in general, having those around inflate our egos.. basically anything that enforces counter-productivity and allows us comfort to our egos with self sabotaging thoughts of " I'm the greatest , it's just a matter of time". The reality is that time may never come fore if you hold your breath you gon fuck around and die. BUT, you know its always a "but" ; what about obstacles that pose a threat to creativity, stalling your process . What if it took you gettin shot at , taking a loss and having to eat oodles and noodles for 2 months with hot sauce and bathing with minimal hot water , perhaps depression taking you on a roller coaster ride forcing you to get lost in your thoughts for an extreme duration of time , now you have these truths all packed together like canned tuna ,What lyrics are you jotting down? ,canvas you're painting?, piece you're writing?..or whatever you do as a creative individual. You're still trynna capture everyday life in regards to solutions to the problems ,you ain't got time to write about them now. At least at that point you now have grounds and basis for how you create the material that trumps whatever you would've composed had you not waited for life to inspire. Big ups to artists such as Russ or maybe a Gucci Mane, who in my opinion have not only have efficient work ethics but effective as well, though in abundance the material is quality too. I feel artist like myself create differently. I think this is the only time procrastination ever worked in my favor. Give you a little back story and breakdown ; I've scrapped various projects since 2013, I believe 4 in total including "Obnoxious (2013)", "Scarred For Life" (2014), "Mellow Dramatic" (2015, my favorite of the shelved LPs) and Good Ole Leonard (2016)Sometimes...you're just not ready yet. I was never a perfectionist per se, Hell "Scarred For Life" had an official cover and the whole 9 yards all of these pieces were unique in their own way tho . "Obnoxious" (2013) . ah yes 21 year old Pop. Pre-pothead, pre DNR, Pre-veggie gang member, pre everything. Probably the most stripped down version of myself. I literally didn't give a fuck around this time . I was pretty raw , 2 years removed from the F.O.S. series and still all about the rappity rap. I wouldn't call it reality rap, this was more like "TMI music", In my opinion . A buncha overly-excited cuts with no sharpness or edge in the delivery just hype as shit , just give it to em ! I'ma blame this one SOLEY on procrastination. I vividly recall the making of this project. I began looking for studios with good sonics and reasonable prices..I ended up at The Heat Factory. This was critical for me because this is when I called myself being professional by recording a project in a "real studio" and would be be my first session in a Philly studio.. Time was money, I think in the first session I did like 7 records. Like I said the records themselves were good content..just poorly executed. I do kinda miss the old production style on there, shit was hella unorthodox and fresh. I don't recall finishing this project as far as recording , But I know for sure none of the records even got mixed... As time passed I grew more and more displeased with my performances. This project like the others lived up to it's name with no pun intended...the shit was obnoxious . "Scarred For Life" (2014) nah fuck Obnoxious this shit was the real TMI music, better beats tho . In retrospect, I don't know what to make of this one . If I would've just kept it introspective and the theme dark I think I coulda had a decent record.. I kinda ruined it by trynna appeal to everybody... I coulda saved " Man On A Mission", "Catfish", "Kray Kray" and a few others for the soundcloud... I still had stuck by it tho, I felt I kinda had no choice but to stick by it, I spent over a stack recording it, I put my life on wax, was as creative as I thought I could be...This was coming out whether I thought it was wack or not .This one was the only project that got a cover.. I was actually excited for this to come out. After I finished the last record , I immediately paid for it to be mixed and mastered. Turned it in the day before my birthday. Fast Forward.. Engineer switched studio buildings,lost the files, Just like Obnoxious... As time passed, so did my liking to the music... I was doing alot of goofy shit that year too. Tangled up still trynna figure out love as a late bloomer,not sure of myself. Not even as an artist but as a person....Yea its other shit I shoulda been doing..like working on my craft. "Mellow Dramatic " (2015) Aw man I love this one.. The only old songs of mine I still bump come off of this one. Did this one in Heavy Music Studios recorded by Dunny,Shotty & Beef. Mixed & Mastered by Dunny. This was my favorite place in the whole world aside from layin up with my girl and Habachis lol. This project had the same format as the others (minimal filler, beats are wayyyyyy better, themes more mature and balanced etc)... Time was money, So of course most of the tape was written, sequenced and set up before I even step foot in the booth. This truly gave me an album vibe.. Dunny kept callin it "my album" . It felt like I was making one, This is when weed became a necessary element to my sessions. I wish I coulda lived in that bitch and slept on them couches . I remember Honest Phire came through and lended her vocals for "Rather Beat My Dick" and the skit for it. The graveyard mixing sessions , This made it all the way to the mastering stage before both me and Dunny both got conflicting schedules ,had some final tweaks and never got around to it and you already know how this story ends..Ever wondered why its so many "fuck a job" references in my music so much back in those days??? Cuz of shit like that.. 9-5 fuckin up my rap career lol This the only project I really wish saw the light of day, I think I coulda really got some people through some rough days with that project.. Man that was a fun time. Take me back in time to the 444 building . "Good Ole Leonard" (2016) ah the supposed "debut album" .Truthfully speaking this record never even had a chance. It started wack and never even ended cuz it never got that far. It was just too depressing for me. I was in a weird place that whole year. Wrapped up in fucking up money, still experiencing growing pains, still hating working for every dollar earned, no discipline to stay the course of anything, Honestly I don't even know what to make of 2016 period I just know it started off lovely and ended horribly which I take full blame for. It just wasn't my time yet...Just all over the place. Fast forward to 2018 We just coming out swingin. It took me a few tries and alot of growing but I think I'm ready this time. Let me drop before I turn 30 lol ! F.O.S. Volume 3 coming in February ! Peace and love to everybody checking out the new content . I do this for y'all . -Pop @hardheaded_leo : Twitter , IG www.facebook.com/hardheadedleo